放開了,某些事

或許是深夜的影響吧?讀著一些文章,聽著音樂,心中有些東西似乎散去了。

時間總是不等人的,恢復與否還是得看自己。我呢?我選擇讓自己忙碌,忙碌到無暇去難過。然後在經歷過不少事後,走到了現在這一步。

這段期間內,我時不時會被回憶衝擊。發生的當下也只能裝沒事,同時控制好自己的情緒,以防陷入莫名低落,但充其量也只是表面功夫罷了。

不過也沒關係了。

能在今年結束前,放下一些事情與情緒,我想也是種幸運。

真的,不用再回頭了。

感謝自己能走到現在這一步,沒有因為低落而打敗自己。

感謝發生過的曾經,讓我走上了我該走的路。

雖然還是不想跟某些人事物扯上關係,但也只是因為看清了某些事。對於這點,我也抱持著感謝。

好了,繼續前進吧。

Things In My Life

 

It’s been about two months since I wrote here.

Life has been good for me, and I’m glad it’s working out this way.

I found a job right after finishing school, and it could potentially turn into a permanent job. But even right now, going to China on an all-expense paid trip is pretty cool.

I started taking hustle dance classes more seriously. The first time I took it, I kinda got discouraged. But now I can do a few proper moves and enjoy myself in the dance, adding a new dance to my repertoire. Also got to meet more people and make new friends, which is always a bonus.

My first job paid pretty well, which means finally having money to get together with friends and enjoy some time out, and you know it’s always good to kick it with friends.

Being able to start doing open mics on a more consistant basis is just great, and I’m constantly reminded of why I started doing it in the first place.

My dance club training is coming to an end. The past 9 months has been an amazing journey, and I know it doesn’t end here. Right now, I’m just psyched to see my results at dance battles this year.

Finally set foot in a swimming pool for the first time in seven years. It’s kind of hard to believe that my car accident happened almost ten years ago. Yet after so long, the pool still felt like home. It was like welcoming an old friend back into my life.

I know it seems like a list, but it’s also a measure of how far I’ve come.

Earlier this year, I was at rock bottom emotionally, and I felt like nothing would get better. I hated myself for what I did, and got extremely depressed. For a few weeks, I had to fake my appearance, and pretended I had a drive to push myself.

I managed to get better, and the wounds healed with time. In reality, all we ever needed was time, but the process of getting there seemed to take forever. Somehow school managed to get me through each day, providing me with a purpose and a goal.

As the world brightened up, my interests sparked again, and I found myself being as active as I can. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy sitting at home, watching netflix or strumming my guitar, it’s that there are so many things that I wanted to do, and I felt like I had to do them. Naturally I got busy, and got to improve myself through all this activity.

There are still moments when my mind races back to those memories, the choices I made and the things I did. And I still wonder: Why? Fortunately, I don’t dwell on it anymore, at least not to the point where I’m unable to function. Thank god I didn’t.

Things come in good and bad, and I’m glad I held on to the good before it got away, while keeping the bad at bay. Now I’m just enjoying my life, and working towards my goals and dreams.

Baby steps lead to big strides. At least I know I’m headed in the right direction.

 

 

Start 開始

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I haven’t written a blog in the longest time. Right now, it’s mostly because my life is somewhat mundane and repetitive. No one wants to hear about how I woke up, went to school, got off school, went home, did homework, and went to bed (with meals in between, obviously).

However, I’ve went through quite a bit these last few weeks. I’m not going to go deep into it, at least not now, and certainly not here. But one thing is certain: my emotions and thoughts are pouring out right now. Ever since I concluded my #100DaysOfInsta project, I’ve felt somewhat bottled up. Writing suddenly became an outlet, something to pour my emotions into. Whether it’s song lyrics, short essays, or just simple phrases, it all results from my emotions.

I’ve always enjoyed writing, but I’ve never considered myself good at it. It’s always been my little “hobby" on the side, while I focused more on music and performing. I guess as the years progressed, my grasp on using words and phrases have increased, and all the random writing I did somewhat polished my skills as well.

So this brings me here: this blog.

I will be writing whatever I want here. The first few posts would probably focus on love and relationships, with further expansion into other topics like life experiences, music, movies, culture, etc. I will also alternate between Mandarin and English. This will be a new start.

The last chapter of my life ended on a bad note. Now, let me start a new one, since we all get a clean slate tomorrow. And boy, do I need mine.